


I can see the dirt in your lines

by TheonlyDan



Category: Nocturnal Animals (2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, How Do I Tag, Post-Canon Fix-It, why is Amy Adams so talented
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28010907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonlyDan/pseuds/TheonlyDan
Summary: What happens after the movie. Susan's POV.
Relationships: Susan Morrow/Edward Sheffield, Susan Morrow/Original Female Character
Kudos: 1





	I can see the dirt in your lines

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Alrighty Aphrodite by Peach Pit. I do not own the song, nor the movie Nocturnal Animals, nor the characters in it. All of the brilliance belongs to the original creators.

It haunted Susan longer than she’d expected, _Nocturnal Animals_ , and for weeks she dreamt of brute men with cruel smirks, weak men with glazed eyes, asphyxiated girls with broken arms. She dreamt herself as the characters in the book: Laura, seeing her own daughter being choked and raped again and again until she lost the light in her eyes; or the male patriarch of the Hastings, imagining what if she just shoots that _piece of shit_ a little faster so that Tony wouldn’t have to die for his indecisiveness. She dreamt, oh how she dreamt of those endless scenarios.

Sometimes when Susan woke from those nightmares—if she was sleeping at all—she found her throat tight and raw. She wondered if she was screaming in her sleep. There was no way to tell. Hutton hadn’t been in bed with her.

And he wouldn’t be. They were getting a divorce.

***

“How does it feel like a free-woman?”

Her eyeshadows were always a little excessive to Susan’s liking, but she was her best friend, and so was her husband (excessive, yes. But flamboyant in a way that made Susan like that gay man too much).

“You are looking like, as if, you are dying to see that frivolous side of me.”

“Oh, you bet I do.” Winked Alessia, “Right now, in Carlos’ birthday party, I’ll be thrilled to see how you turn one of his friends straight.”

“You overestimate me.”

“You underestimate yourself.” She rose her martini to her lips; they were painted nude, “I swear I can almost see that glow on you now.”

“Glow? What glow?”

“The kind that appears after a good fuck.”

Susan choked on her wine. She glared at Alessia. But after Susan found that warmth and softness in her cool eyes, Susan deflated.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Your welcome, darling.” She smirked, and started to steer Susan into a new direction, “Honestly, you look ridiculously radiant after the shitstorm you went through.”

“Well, I can only put myself in my own divorce, can’t I?”

“You underestimate yourself again. Considering your marital status now, how about being the other woman?”

“Just close your goddamn mouth, honey.”

***

Edward reached out after a surprising two-years. When Susan saw his caller-ID popped up on her phone, she couldn’t believe it.

But of course, she picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” It was raining outside of her apartment—she moved out of her second ex-husband's mansion. She wondered if Edward could hear the pitter-patter on her flat’s window. “I hope I’m not disturbing.”

“No. No, you’re not.”

After a period of silence, they spoke.

“How—”

“I—”

Stopping at unity, they chuckled. The straining air was distilled by laughter.

“Congratulations on your book, Edward.” It felt strange when his name slipped off her tongue, “Or should I say, books?”

“Thank you. Muse has been kind to me.” A pause, “Was it raining there?”

“Yeah.” Then she changed her mind and added, “It’s Seattle. All that rain, you know.”

“That’s a big change.” Ed commented unequivocally, whereas Susan took a quick, shaky breath, “I…I heard it all from your brother. It was all very—almost, abrupt.”

“You are not here.” Trying to make up for the sharpness, Susan exhaled, “You wouldn’t possibly know how everything evolves.”

“Right.” There was an audible “click” from the other end of the line, and Susan guessed it was Edward swallowing his uneasiness, “Right. Poor choice of words. Sill not a very good writer, you see.”

Susan quirked her mouth slightly upwards. Maybe some things wouldn’t change.

“Sorry if I was being a little defensive. As you said, a big change.”

“No, I was the one who should say sorry, actually, I…” He trailed off; Susan could almost hear the cogs running in his brain, “That day, I shouldn’t have stood you up.”

Susan frowned. She pulled her covers up her chest, and said in warmth, “Listen, that was ancient history.”

She wanted to say it was nothing. But the truth was, that day marked one of the most significant days of her life. It served as one of the incentives to her divorce.

“It was revenge.” He sounded shockingly steady and deep, “And I think you know that.”

A heavy interval took place. After a thunder struck some miles away, Susan spoke, “I don’t understand. Why are you calling me now? Why are you telling me this?”

“We can’t stop leaving imprints on each other’s lives, can’t we?” Edward muttered, and it was scaring Susan, “We just can’t stop.”

“What do you mean? Are you ok?”

“Yes.” As if he had a second personality, her ex-husband switched back, “I have been thinking about all of this. And I can’t help but think, that if I didn’t write what I write, did what I did…” His voice went hoarse, “You wouldn’t have suffered…things.”

“It’s just life.” Rushed Susan, like she had always been meaning to say it to Edward, all her guilt, shame, longing, and discontentment, “We’re only human. We love. We betray. We revenge. We learn better.”

The weight of her words sank deeper than she thought. For a while, there were only soft, regular breathings on the speaker.

“I called, because today was our anniversary.” Susan went frigid. Edward continued, “And honestly, I wouldn’t have thought that you could have said what you just said.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

It wasn’t accusatory. Susan was genuinely curious.

“The rain stopped.” He only observed. Some kind of understanding seemed to be stricken over the line, a line that hadn’t been used in twenty-some years, “It must be late in your time zone.”

“Yes, it was.”

Susan pressed down a natural urge to ask back. There was no need to know where Edward was in this big, bad world. He was good and kind enough to survive. What was best for both of them, was that they both live independent, separate lives.

“I should go.”

But they didn’t hang up right away.

“So I guess, gayness is a kind of gene, huh?”

“Mr. Sheffield!” Susan exclaimed, with heat climbing up her cheeks, “What else has my good-for-nothing brother told you?”

“Who’s that?”

Asked her girlfriend, fresh and naked. She must have just gone out of the shower. They had been together for half a year now. Susan met her at Carlos’ party. Fate had a wicked sense of humor to put two women in a gay bar together.

“D!” Susan hissed, then she remembered to cover up her speaker, “Put some clothes on or you’ll get a cold!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

After that chirp, Susan was satisfied that Delon did what she was told. She went back to the bathroom, and Susan went back to her phone.

“That’s her?”

“Yeah.” Susan couldn’t suppress a smile, “That’s her.”

“I’m glad you found someone.”

“Me too.” And after some consideration, Susan didn’t ask _how about you_.

“Goodnight, Ed.”

“Goodnight to you both.”

The line finally went dead, with the message was loud and clear— _I’m sorry, and I forgive you._

Susan let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Something was being lifted off her shoulders. She felt lighter, even if she didn’t exactly feel happier.

She already was.

“D! Dry your hair, would you?”

As she predicted, the sound of the blow-dryer sounded through the cold air. It brought her a wave of comfort.

And sometimes, to Susan, it was the most important thing in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> How can I stop after Sharp Objects? So this came into existence. Thank you for reading this chaotic jumble.


End file.
